Showing posts with label Cookie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cookie. Show all posts

June 3, 2012

showmanship
in the announcer booth
nervous face
IMG_20120602_155814
awards
IMG_20120602_140213
(the elegant way of remembering which classes you entered)

saddle sweat
big winner

horse show yesterday. our first time off the property in two years. as usual, on Friday night Cookie was a nervous wreck, terrified of all the new sights and sounds. my heart clenched; I remember being a little kid, scared at my first sleepover. she was well-behaved, for the most part, on Saturday, with a few explosions in some of our later classes. but I didn't scratch any of them and we won four riding ribbons and a halter ribbon, marking the first time I've won more ribbons than she has. "he really liked you," I said to her after placing fourth in one of the big equitation classes, as we walked back and forth outside the arena, waiting for our next one. "or actually, come to think of it, I guess he liked me."

I came home at 8 after 13 hours at the show. I was light-headed from fatigue and dropped to bed at 10. today I am not terribly sore (miraculously) but so tired I can't even make myself drive to the garden to pick lettuce. thank god for sundays.

December 9, 2010

two years, penniless

hi, I'm pretty

I bought Cookie two years ago today. Unlike last year, I can't say we've been on TV or we've improved our collection; in fact, in my lesson last night, my instructor said, "Wow, I can't believe it's been two years," and I replied, "Me neither. I kind of thought we'd be better than this?"

We had a rough ride on Saturday, which was very blustery here in Portland. Horses don't like wind, because they're prey animals who rely on their sense of hearing, which wind distorts. In the absence of that sense, they rely on each other, which on Saturday meant that every time one horse spooked, everybody spooked! Good times. And since I ride #1 Spook Master, I was often the accelerant to disaster. Every time we reached the far end of the arena (which overlooks the front field of the property), either my mare or the other mare in the arena would jump 4 feet toward the inside of the arena. The other mare was slower about it and more prone to simply balking. Cookie prefers what I like to call the "Arab teleport" method. Arabians seem singularly able to travel faster than the speed of light at times of even minor distress. Keeping the horse between you and the ground can prove ... challenging. In a fit of impatience I grew tired of shying predictably in the same place and made her stand still in that place, resolving to let her move from it only when she'd relaxed. So what did she do? She stood stock still at high alert for about 45 seconds before jumping off all four feet, scaring all four horses in the arena, and causing one seven-year-old girl to fall off her horse.

Classy.

(The little girl is fine, and bravely got right back on).

Last night in my lesson Cookie had her danger ears back on, but to her credit she trusted me enough to put a lid on the spooking, and she was actually a very nice ride (although she was constantly dipping her inside shoulder, wanting to avoid the scary dark world outside the rail, and I was constantly having to hold her up/boot her back to the outside of the ring). It's exhausting to have a horse constantly on edge, but it does make for a nicer ride than she is on the days she's lazy. At least I don't have to work so hard.

Things I have taught her:
- to pick up her feet on verbal command ("foot") and likewise to hold them until I say "down"
- to stand still while mounting. finally. almost.
- peppermints = good
- how to recognize the peppermint wrapper sound
- to never ever ever be in my way while I'm cleaning her stall
- likewise to never ever ever be in my space. ever. unless invited. (pushy horses are a big pet peeve of mine)
- the verbal cue "blanket," which I say just before sticking her turnout blanket over her head. (she stops what she's doing and drops/raises her head)

Things she has taught me:
- how to sit a buck
- how it's important to have the courage to get on and stay on even on scary days
- how to ride the Arab teleport
- how to sit the world's bounciest trot
- what being a proud mama feels like. she's so pretty that I always get compliments from strangers, at home or away. just Saturday, the mom of a little girl taking lessons came over to say, "that is a very beautiful horse."

I got a big kick out of looking at her sale ad earlier today, which I saved to my computer after I bought her. Under "Activities" she's listed as "Show/Trail/Cow Horse." Cow horse! Hilarious. She probably is, but she hasn't had a Western saddle on her back since the day I bought her. Maybe some day.

what I'd like to do with her, someday:
- jump real fences
- take a dressage test
- teach her to smile (working on it)
- ride an endurance race
- hack out on more trails
- gallop
- go on a hunt (this is my lifetime bucket list goal)

so! here's to one more year of not falling off my horse.

July 3, 2010

small victories

  • finally fixed my laptop, whose internal fan has been running constantly -- for no reason -- for almost two weeks.
  • updated my address with various insurance agencies, subscription services, doctor's offices, and banks
  • rode my horse for the first time in two weeks. I thought she was going to be unmanageable, but she was a sweetheart. she didn't give me any trouble (except one little buck which was kind of my fault) and moved like a total dream. my instructor said, "some days she looks like a $5,000 horse, and then there are days like today when she looks like a $20,000 horse."
  • broke the psychological barrier and packed some boxes. I got my keys to the new place last night, and moved a tiny carload over today. threw open all the windows, plugged in an air freshener, and stood in the living room scratching my head, trying to decide on the future configuration of my furniture.
next on the agenda:
  • sell a bunch of said furniture
  • take a bunch of stuff to Goodwill
  • pack my entire kitchen
  • ride my horse again! twice in two days!
  • heal from my random, softball-induced injuries (hip flexor, foot)
  • get to the other side of this mountain of stress, already

June 29, 2010

walking the wire

It's a strange time lately. I believed the end of the opera season would bring some much needed quiet and rest, but it's six weeks after the close of our last show and everything is as hectic as ever. There are a thousand reasons for this; here is a glimpse:
  • softball
  • horseback riding

    english pleasure

  • stall cleaning
  • feeding horses
  • apartment hunting
  • packing
  • or at least thinking about packing
  • training for a marathon -- or at the very least, running
  • work projects
  • finally enjoying the nice weather
  • tending daily to the garden
DSCF6613 DSCF6612

(I went to the garden this morning to plant a bunch of starts I bought last night. It was nice to begin my day there, in the early morning light; everything was quiet except for the rush of water through the hose. Now in the garden: radicchio, mesclun, radishes, basil, lavender, rosemary, fennel (2 types), catnip, sage, chives, cilantro, broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, cabbage, kale, butter lettuce, chard, bell peppers, tomatoes, watermelon, canteloupe, lemon cucumber.)

So here is my problem: I am totally overwhelmed by the amount of things I have to do on a daily basis, although nearly everything is exciting and good. It's a real conundrum. I would not want to give any of these things up, and in fact, would find it difficult -- each of them is a commitment I've made. I keep having the feeling that if only I could catch up, everything would settle back and I would be okay. I'm happy now -- sometimes radiantly so -- but also struggling.

Oh, blog. There is one more thing for that list. I've been coyly keeping it a secret from you, but I can't keep it forever.

  • boyfriend

June 21, 2010

rodeo clown

cute in the cross-ties

the barn's annual horse show was this weekend. it was a great turnout -- we had over 100 people come to ride -- but it was a little disappointing otherwise, for most of us. for me: Cookie was very well behaved for the first half of my classes (the walk/trot classes), keeping herself in a pretty frame, steering well, standing (mostly) still while we waited during the breaks. but once we rode in our first canter class, she totally melted down, and I'm still not entirely sure what happened. the first time I asked for the canter, it was as if I had floored it, which was not surprising; she always wants to run and run and run. she picked up the canter incorrectly, "cross-firing," which is what we call it when a horse picks up the lead correctly in the front and incorrectly in the hind end. after that she was very difficult to collect, and each time I cued the canter it was as if a gun was going off. I sincerely could not tell if she was acting up because she was desperate to run, or because she was being naughty, or because she was tired, or because she was sore. after we went bucking down the rail in our equitation class, I hopped off of her to check my saddle and her legs, but nothing seemed particularly out of place. I had one more class to ride, and I hoped to end on a decent note. she had enough time to cool down beforehand, so the first part of the class went okay -- she managed to keep the walk (rather than bursting again and again into trot) and even picked up her canter without too much explosiveness. but in the reverse direction, I again went bucking down the rail. I heard the spectators in the bleachers gasp.

we won two ribbons in our halter classes -- a very exciting first place finish in the mare class (against a large number of horses), and a third place in the saddle type class. but no ribbons in the riding classes. it was no surprise during our meltdown classes, but I felt sincerely that I could not have ridden better in our first five or six classes, which was simultaneously frustrating and comforting. later on I found out that many competitors at the show were complaining about the inconsistency of the judge, and several people at different points throughout the day came up to compliment us on our riding; one person told me, "we thought you were going to win the class, and then you didn't even place!" the ribbons were not what I was there for (mostly), but given that my mare had such a breakdown, it would have been nice to have already walked away with a little something.

it was a typically exhausting horse show day -- I awoke at 5 to arrive at the show barn by 6, where I lunged and then rode Cookie in the arena prior to the main crowd's arrival; then I rode for five hours, untacked, repacked my car, and spent the rest of the afternoon watching the western classes. our kids didn't do as well as they usually do; the judge didn't seem to like any of us.

that mare sure is cute, though.

carousel horse

pay no attention to my chair seat. I could seriously use a saddle that fits us both better. I can't get my legs any farther underneath me in that thing.

now it is june 21. I have 19 days to find a new place to live. there's nothing more to say about my mental state than that.

June 18, 2010

growth

the last of the plants that have been kicking around the house are now in the ground at my garden. the current tally stands thusly: radicchio, mesclun, radishes; early girl tomatoes (my favorite), cherry tomatoes; sage, cilantro, chives, thyme, lavender, rosemary, basil; watermelon, canteloupe; lemon cucumbers. the plot is hardly 1/3 full.

I love it over there. the neighborhood is quiet; kids play basketball in the street. a few doors down, a mother calls out, "ashley! dinner!" when garden-neighbors come in through the gate, we water our plots quietly and nod hello. it feels like something out of a remote childhood. on sunday, the ice cream truck drove slowly by; I heard a boy of approximately nine or ten yell in that almost panicked way, "ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!! ICE CREAM TRUCK!!! GET YOUR MONEY!" followed by a flurry of activity. I very nearly got some ice cream myself.

tomorrow is the barn-run horse show. tonight I am headed down there to feed and clean stalls (thankfully with all the horses gone); I have to grab my tack and all my tools, and clean them up, and get snacks, and double-check my show clothes, and then head to the show grounds. I had a very good but very late night last night, and I'm running on maybe 2 hours of sleep. at this point my body is being fueled by sheer stubbornness. tomorrow I'll wake up at 5 and get to the arena by 6 to lunge Cookie, and shine her up, and put her in her show halter for the opening halter classes. I'd like to come home with one riding ribbon. otherwise, the joy in being there is feeling like a part of the barn family.

June 13, 2010

gardening 101

step 1: survey your domain.

trodden

step 2: apply sunscreen to face, arms, neck. attempt to reach middle of back; find all contortion efforts unsuccessful. settle on covering only reachable parts.

step 3: admire neighbor gardens.

pretty pretty neighbor garden

chard!

step 4: pick up $2 spade; get working. turn dirt lovingly. pull out little stones, occasional weeds.

hard freaking work

step 5: get legs real dirty.

yay dirt

step 6: get back to tilling. wipe brow. feel sunburned.

step 7: kick off shoes.

be gone!

step 8: meet your neighbor, Warren. feel slightly naked in your skimpy tank top and shorts, since he's clad in a sweatshirt and jeans. feel like a hippie when he glances at your bare feet, which are buried in dirt.

neighbor.

step 9: become embarrassed when your cell phone goes off, because the ringer is all the way up and it's your mother; her ringtone is the theme song from The Price is Right.

step 9A: internally apologize to Warren.

step 10: realize you've been working on your garden for nearly an hour and you're less than a third of the way done. abandon loving, careful tilling of soil in favor of strenuous hoeing; begin using feet to mix up dry dirt clods.

step 11: wonder if that sunscreen is working.

step 12: admire your work so far.

good tools.

before & after

step 13: try to ignore back pain.

step 14: finish turning bed with an exhausted flourish. flop down on the grass. call your mother.

step 15: realize you have no idea how to organize your garden. take a stroll past the neighbors' gardens for inspiration.

step 15A: copy become inspired.

step 16: become exasperated with how long you've been working; finally plant your first plant.

first plant

step 16A: plant subsequent plants. suspect they look inadequate. wonder silently if you should have thought more about spring plants versus summer plants.

step 17: try not to compare your greens

sad little greens

to your neighbors' greens.

coveted greens

step 18: realize you've hit the level beyond ravenously hungry and may have moved on to hypoglycemic; plant the other plants in a hurry.

step 19: eat a burger, fries, and a milkshake. feel sore. examine sunburn. wince at sunburn. take luxurious shower. feel hungry again. eat toast, fall asleep on the couch with the cat.

in other news, Cookie nearly made me eat the dirt today. the barn owner let two of the mares out to graze in the front pasture, and they ran up to the back arena gate, startling the crap out of both of us. for probably two straight minutes Cookie pranced, jigged, and spun; she wouldn't stand still and had pretty much forgotten about me altogether. it was like riding a tightly coiled spring. I couldn't dismount without fearing she'd bolt and take me with her. I'm pretty sure I had a look of holy terror on my face as I tried to calm her down, keep her from exploding, figure out what to do, and stay on.

I had to negotiate with her for about ten minutes. TEN. MINUTES. and then, slowly but surely, I got her brain back. we rode for over an hour. I did not dismount -- voluntarily or involuntarily. by the end of the ride she was ignoring the mares. I consider the whole episode a major success.

June 1, 2010

29.

My birthday weekend was so wonderful, it almost defies description. I don't even know what to tell you about it, except to say that it was full of the things that make me happy. I actually don't much want to talk about it; it feels quietly sacred somehow. Suffice it to be said: I love twenty-nine so far.

I will tell you one of my weekend activities: I had a great jumping lesson with Cookie on Monday night. They've brought in a trainer originally from the UK to help the 4H kids with their jumping and dressage prior to their big show this summer, and have opened up those lessons to those of us who are interested. I haven't done much jumping in the last ten years, and Cookie has done hardly any, so I expected it to be sort of a disaster, especially given that her steering mechanism is not always so good. But she was a superstar. She jumped everything I pointed her towards, even if the approach was bad. And the physical memory of how to ride a jump remained in my body throughout all this time. What a gift. The last jump we cleared was probably over two feet, which doesn't sound like much until you're trying to get your horse over it. Cookie sort of sat back mid-stride as if she wasn't going to do it, and then surprised me by rounding up over it beautifully. Afterwards the trainer said, "Well, she surely is willing!" Sometimes she is so giving of herself that I feel wretched having ever been frustrated with her. That animal tries her heart out for me, and I am so grateful to her, and occasionally humbled.

Tomorrow I'm headed out to Olympic National Park with an old friend from high school, who came to town today so we could get our backpacking gear situated. We were going to enjoy a day doing PDX sight-seeing things, but he got up at 3:30 and promptly arrived at the WRONG AIRPORT for his flight; I haven't had more than 5-6 hours of sleep since last week. We stopped at Powell's for ten minutes, ate crepes and french fries at the food carts, and came back here to play on my old school Nintendo before I dragged him to the barn so I could feed. We shopped for our trip, and now we're fully stocked but were too tired to pack. When we got back here, we stuffed ourselves full of sushi and promptly went to bed. It's supposed to rain rather seriously throughout our 3-day trip. I'm pretty sure we're going to come back covered in moss.

May 26, 2010

float

hi, I'm pretty

Today I took the morning off work so I could be there when Cookie got her teeth floated. Horses, like many animals, have teeth that grow continuously through most of their lives, and are ground down slowly over time as they eat. In a perfect mouth, they grind evenly, but more often than not, they wear down more in some spots than others, eventually making the taller bits into sharp hooks that catch on the tongue and insides of the cheeks.

Dr. Clabaugh (seriously, click that link and scroll down, she has the freaking bad-assest bio in history; I wish I had had more time to talk with her) was super sweet and fawned over Cookie -- always a bonus in my book, like somebody complimenting your kid. ("I'm a sucker for buckskins. You know, I'd like to think I'm beyond color, but she is just so cute. Look at those ears! I've never seen ear markings like that.") She had to give Cookie two doses of sedative, because after the first one she still pretty much looked like this:

treat?

.. and therefore not nearly sleepy/drunky enough. The second dose worked much better, though. It was simultaneously hilarious and sad to see my horse dosed up like that. Kind of like seeing someone you love really, obliteratingly drunk. Thank god horses can't read blogs because I'm about to show the internet how sad she looked.

Getting the speculum on:
sad face

having a hard time holding her head up (she hadn't been propped up yet); tongue lolling:
float face

Once she was all set up, we took a look. I got to see the ulcers she had on both sides of her cheeks from where she had rubbed/bitten them; her hooks weren't too bad but she had a "ramp" on her back molar -- it was worn down in the front but not the back -- that Dr. Clabaugh told me would be making it more painful for her to bend at the poll: in other words, making it unpleasant for her to keep her head in the appropriate place while I'm riding. She also still had her wolf teeth, small pre-molars not unlike human baby teeth, which bang on the bit and can be uncomfortable. We decided that in addition to the float, Dr. Clabaugh would also extract those two teeth. Ouch!

world's scariest dental drill:
mid-float

Fortunately for my wallet, one of the wolf teeth popped loose as she was filing the others. The $25 I would have spent on that tooth would have put the vet bill over $300. Thanks, tooth!

my camera sucks, but I wanted to get an action shot of the drill. (Or maybe just a sound clip). I should mention at this point that I did sheepishly apologize to the dentist for being a crazy horse mom. "Are you kidding? We get this all the time."



The whole process took about forty-five minutes. Not so bad. Cookie was so sedated she needed help walking to her stall. It's hard enough when your 150-pound friend needs help; imagine your 900-pound horse?



She was staggering. It was hilarious.

She got a round of vaccines (unrelated to the float) and we tucked her in. She supposedly would be more awake and alert in about 30 minutes. (I had to go to work, so I couldn't hang around & find out). I gave her some pats I'm sure she couldn't feel. Sleepy mare!

drunk.

I mean, look at this face. This is the face of your friend at 3 AM just before she passes out fully clothed in the bathtub. She had to lean her head against the wall. She couldn't even move. So cute/sad.

sleepy face

It'll be a few days before I can ride again, since her mouth will be healing from the extractions. I REALLY can't wait to see if the work changes how she carries her head. One of her chronic problems is head tossing/fussiness, so I'm really hoping the dental work makes her head carriage more consistent. And I'm glad, of course, that she won't be rubbing the insides of her cheeks off every time she eats anything.

May 18, 2010

scaredy cat

Yesterday at the barn, Larry, a fellow stall-cleaner and barn mate, mentioned to me that when her turnout door is open, my horse will stand with her head out the door but never goes outside. I suspected this might be the case but had hoped that maybe she was out during the day, when I wasn't around. Her stall opens on to a small pasture, and once every couple of days it's her turn to be out there. She's only been in this stall for a few months; before that, she was in a stall in the middle aisle of the barn, where there was no access to turnout at all. I considered this a major upgrade, so I really would like her to do more than stick her head out the door.

Larry's assessment was that she must be afraid to step in the mud immediately outside the turnout door. Because this is Oregon, and it's May, and they are horses, there's an area about two feet wide of puddle/mud next to the barn. The other horses just walk out into it and beyond, into the grass. Larry decided to take her out of her stall, walk her around to the outside gate that opens onto said pasture, turn her loose, and then feed her in her stall so she'd walk through the mud to come in.

This morning at about 11 I got a text from him with this photo:

happy cookie

I was so happy! Look at her go!

A few hours later we had a tremendous rainstorm in downtown Portland, and I thought, "Well, I sure hope Cookie's gotten over her fear of the mud and isn't stuck outside in this."

When I got to the barn, I walked down the aisle and, as I always do, called out "Hello mare!" which is usually what brings her to her door (if she's not already there). But: nothing. I got to her stall only to discover this morning's hay still on the ground, and no horse. I let myself in and peeked through the open turnout door. There she was, around the corner, just hanging out. She walked over when she heard me but stood about four feet from the door, on the 'safe' side of the mud.

People, my horse is afraid of mud. My horse, who has been trail riding through the backcountry of Montana, who has lived for a winter in a stall prone to flooding, who spent her first several years outside all year in pasture in OREGON, is afraid of mud.

All I can say to explain this is that the mud in front of her stall door is trampled by the feet of many horses, yet very squelchy and wet; in places there is standing water. It's not very deep -- not even ankle deep on me -- but to a horse lacking higher reasoning processes, it must have seemed like a scary place to put her feet.

So, I put her halter on and began to lead her through. I stood next to her and gave her a pep talk, then took a few steps forward into the mud. She walked with me for a second, and then balked. I made reassuring noises. She was not reassured. She stood there and looked at me like, "yeah, right," and didn't budge. I stepped into the doorway, holding her lead rope, and pulled gently. She reared up a little and refused. Okay, okay. Take two: I grabbed a handful of treats, stuffed them in my pockets, and resumed my place in the doorway. Leaning out, I held a treat just out of her reach. She took one tentative step forward, so she got to eat it. I held out a second treat. Her front feet were lined up primly next to one another, just at the edge of the mud. She leaned her head as far as she could possibly lean it -- go go, Inspector Gadget head! No luck for her: the treat was just out of reach.

Finally, just like a kid who finally sums up the courage to dive into the pool, she seemed to take a breath and then LEAPT into the stall. Fortunately, I'd anticipated the possibility of getting run over and I got out of her way in time. She leapt so neatly that her back feet weren't even muddy. She looked relieved and a little sheepish, and dove into her grain bucket with relish.

What a weirdo. I'm hoping she's cured of it, but I didn't get an opportunity to drag her back outside yesterday -- I wanted to let her eat. When I left her she was surrounded by both her morning and evening hay, munching happily. I couldn't bear the idea of forcing her back out into the muck.

March 7, 2010

show day

Our first show of the season was yesterday, a schooling show that's held by the Thoroughbred Exhibitors' Association every year down at the local fairgrounds. It was not a very nice day for it -- chilly and windy and threatening to rain -- but last year, when it stormed and hailed and snowed, was much, much worse.

I got up at 4:30 and put on my breeches and boots and three sweatshirts, heated up the oatmeal I'd pre-made the night before, and hauled my bag of show stuff to my car. I was at the barn by 5:45, but ended up waiting around for awhile, because, as it turns out, one of the trucks meant to haul our 4-horse trailer had broken down. We ended up leaving the barn at 6:45 instead of 6:15 but still squeaked in to the fairgrounds in time to (barely) make the first class, which I happened to be competing in. (There were a harrowing few minutes where I was hurriedly stuffing Cookie's face into a halter while a friend was helping brush her mane and my trainer had her hand up my jacket, pinning on my number.)

Halter classes at horse shows are the equine equivalent to the dog shows you see on TV: a handler on the ground walks a horse into the arena, "sets" them (squares their feet, as is done with dogs, in different positions depending on the breed), and then trots away from the judge so the judge can see if they have good leg conformation. Then you line up next to the other competitors and (hopefully) make your horse stand still and look pretty and alert for the remainder of the class. Cookie does very well in halter classes, and would do better if we ever practiced setting up, which we don't. We compete with her as though she were an Arabian (she's a half-Arab), which means she should stand like this:

how an arab should look

but occasionally we end up like this instead:
June 6, 2009 horse show: Halter

We entered three halter classes and took third, third, and fourth respectively, earning three ribbons but not passing through high enough to move on to the championship round. She was very, very well behaved, stood quietly, did not shuffle her back feet, and wanted to love on me a little but didn't try to be in my pocket (which, incidentally, was her problem in the photo of us above).

After halter was through we tacked up for our English classes -- we weren't even bothering with Western -- and I walked her back and forth across the grounds about four times so we could both settle down. She was a little tense and anxious in the warm-up ring, and I was thankful that the footing was very deep, so she had to work harder to trot and canter. Eventually she settled down, only to go through the same scary thing again in the show arena warm up. Our first two classes were messy but not bad; she still has problems riding in a straight line and I am still constantly asking for her head carriage, but she didn't run off or spook, which is a tremendous improvement from just a few weeks ago.

We rode in three classes and then had a long break, so we walked up and down the gravel path outside the arena, then stood at the door. I was really wanting to place in at least one riding class, so that I felt like Cookie wasn't the only one winning the ribbons, but I was simultaneously really proud of her for being significantly better behaved than at our last show, when she literally could not stand still the entire day. Outside the gate before our third class, I leaned forward and gave her a long scratch on the neck and face; everybody chuckled at us as Cookie craned her neck back so I could reach her face better from the saddle. I told her I was proud of her, that she was being such a good girl.

Our fourth class was an 18 & over class, typically the hardest for me because I'm riding with all adult competitors who have been riding as long or longer than I have and who are typically WAY more skilled at showing (and often at riding). All the riding classes of the day had been very long, with extended trots and canters, so we were already tired. But we were just on. Cookie had settled into an equilibrium where she was still pretty pumped up but relaxed enough to settle in and listen, and she'd become familiar enough with the arena that I could convince her to ride closer to the rail (which she'd been afraid of in the beginning). My riding felt tight, Cookie was holding her head well, and I'd found a sort of .. I don't know, lightness? in my seat that finally allowed me to ride her into the corners without having her head ganked in one position while her body was in another.

When we passed my barnmates at the lower end of the arena they were so encouraging! They are always encouraging but they're also there to murmur "wrong lead" or "drop your hands!" or whatever else you need to fix. Every time I passed they just said, "Beautiful, Jess!" "You look great!" "Go Cookie!" I was also happy to notice that the dad of one of our lesson kids was there, a former Arab trainer himself who almost always sees me in lessons where Cookie is bucking or steering badly or generally being an ass.

The class took forever, and after walking, trotting, and cantering beautifully in one direction we had to reverse and do the same in our bad direction. At the canter, we'd been going and going FOR A THOUSAND YEARS when Cookie broke into a clippy, bouncy trot; I frantically asked her to pick up the canter again, but again she broke into a trot. I knew she was not being "bad" -- she was just plain exhausted. But we were nearing where the judge was standing, and we had been going SO WELL for the entire class, and I knew if she caught us trotting it would dash any dim hope we had of ribboning in that huge class. "Come on, sweet stuff," I said, "Please? Do it for me, please do it for me." I cued and she picked it up one last time; we turned into the corner and around past the judge, and then they called for us to walk and line up.

It had been a great class, and I felt it was our best chance to place; I also felt that it should be our last class, because Cookie and I were both exhausted and I really wanted to reward her for her awesome work. In the line-up, waiting for the results, I try so hard never to get my hopes up, because in a large group we rarely ever ribbon -- we just have too many issues right now. So I was truly thrilled and surprised when they announced my number for third place! I think I even did a victory fist pump.

We ended up entering the class directly after that one, despite my initial misgivings, because it was a colored horse class and there were only 6 horses in it. And we finished sixth :) Getting Cookie to keep trotting in that class was like an act of god. I had to pull my outside foot (the one out of sight of the judge) completely out of the stirrup and lay it into her side to even keep her moving. But I didn't care at all. At the end of the class, I walked Cookie over and thanked the judge, who had clearly liked my horse in halter classes. "You're welcome," she said. "You need to put a headset on that horse." Don't I know it.

When I came out of the ring, my trainer handed me our yellow ribbon. "BEAUTIFUL JOB, you two," she said. "This is a blue ribbon in my book." What can I say about this? I teared up a little. There's this great scene towards the end of National Velvet when Velvet and the Pie have won the Grand National; they come back home, and Velvet is so exhausted and emotional she's in a swoon. She explains that towards the end of the race she knew that the Pie was totally done and had nothing left, but that she asked him for just a little more and he put his whole heart into it for her. She is full of wonder and gratitude. It sounds completely cheesy but that's how it felt yesterday: like Cookie was absolutely exhausted but gave it one more burst for me because I asked her for it. I truly could not love that third place ribbon more.

I stayed for the rest of the day, although I was done riding, to watch all my friends and barn-mates compete in the Western classes, which they rocked. All 7 of us walked off with ribbons. After we were through we all pitched in, cleaning stalls, blanketing horses, emptying water buckets, and then loaded up the horses and drove back to the barn. I love the post-show flurry of returning everything to tack rooms and stalls; everybody's tired and glad to be done. There's a great sense of community. Usually a group goes out for dinner at the cafe down the street, but not tonight! We all trudged to our cars, cranked up the heat, and went home. I can hardly keep my eyes open.

March 6, 2010

preparation

it turns out that a day of riding, bathing coats, clipping muzzles, braiding tails, stuffing hay bags, loading trailers, and finding hunt clothes will really take it out of you, especially if you didn't bring a lunch. and you've had a headache all day, and the medicine for it makes you starving and sleepy. and it is (thankfully, gloriously) sunny and 60 outside, and your face gets lightly sunburned.

especially when you have to think about leaving the house at 5 tomorrow. 5. in the morning. so that you can go buy a few snacks for yourself for the long day ahead. because you're too tired to go right now, and you're in your pajamas, and you might go to sleep at 9.

you can only hope your horse will stay sane at the horse show, and maybe win a ribbon or two.

bareback day

February 21, 2010

a good weekend

yesterday morning, brilliant airy blue sky; by 9:30 I was at the barn, the back doors thrown open to the sunlight. Cookie rolled & snorted the dust out of her nose. Up by her stall, she stood in the cross-ties while I untangled her mane, too long braided, with my fingers. Our riding lesson was better than usual, lately -- she threatened to buck, throwing her head down to her knees, but I managed to ride her through it each time. At the canter she finally gave in and complied. We loafed around the arena bareback for awhile, my dark breeches covered in white hair.



what a nice weekend. for nearly a week now it's been gloriously nice here, sunny and in the 50s. it feels sinful after the week of snow at home, but it's been a blessing too. I was pretty blue at the start of the week, totally overwhelmed by funerals and stress and feeling like I had no idea what direction my life was headed. it's amazing what a little sunshine will do.

nice day

this afternoon I went over to the library. I dropped 3 books and came back with 7. hopeless. I meandered over to the tack store downtown in hopes of checking out their saddles. did I mention that I've just now realized my saddle doesn't fit my horse? I've looked it over several times in the past but only yesterday did I realize that it's too narrow in the shoulder, which means it's tipped back, which is why I can't get my damn legs in the right position. I'm sure it's hurting her too. so now I'm tentatively beginning to look for a new one. to the tune, I'm sure, of several hundred dollars.

the tack store, however, was closed. so I wandered down to the waterfront, where I walked barefoot through the grass. barefoot through the grass! in february! thanks, universe.

then Nub and I went to the world's smallest park.
Nub and the world's smallest park

so, see you later, number seventeen.
Nub playing with park wildlife

I was really happy to discover a tiny treasure trove of wild park animals: a butterfly, a horse, and two dinosaurs. I'll have to go back and visit to see if anybody else moves in.

On my way home, I passed a mustache on a pillow. Good day.
mustache on a pillow

December 9, 2009

the hoof of an unbroken filly

one year ago today, I drove to the barn and dropped off a check for $350, which served as deposit and first payment for my first horse.

before halter class

I didn't anticipate it, wasn't planning on it, and never expected to buy a horse at my age. I thought of horse ownership as something I would do in my thirties or forties, once I had settled down. It was a faraway goal, one that required a great deal of planning, and money, and time. I was 27; I was working four and sometimes five jobs just to stay afloat. "Buying a horse is literally the stupidest financial move I can think of," I told my mother over and over again.

June 6, 2009 horse show: Halter

I have loved a lot of horses in the 13 years I've been riding. Thea, the 3-year-old chestnut Thoroughbred who sailed over jumps and once threw me off four times in a single lesson; Mario, a little gelding who would do anything you asked; PJ, the Appaloosa who was a total jerk but athletic and honest over fences. There was Dalton, a wonderful horse at the dressage barn where I rode in college, and Roxy, the bay mare I once saw throw an 8-year-old and then go tearing around the ring like something had bitten her. Angel and Merlin, Luke and Leia. So many horses but only once -- with Mario -- did the thought even occur to me that they might ever be mine.

Years of lessons on other peoples' horses; a few years of leasing my own:

Toby
(along with the bruise he once left on my foot after he pounced on it while spooking at a tarp)

And then Cookie.
Nub and Cookie
before our first class
Cookie.

When I handed the check to Heather, she gave me a big hug. "Aren't you excited?!" she asked me, grinning. But I shook my head, sheepish. "No," I replied. "I'm terrified!" As I surmised that day, it took me weeks to feel even a glimmer of excitement; I didn't believe I had actually bought a horse. Nothing changed physically: Cookie lived where she'd always lived; there was no trailering or settling in. The transfer of her papers didn't occur until April, after I had paid her last payment. So in those first few weeks it was just an idea. Oh, and also this little blue line:

n5503084_38273538_8627

But now, of course, she is my horse. One year later, she nickers when I walk to her stall, and has developed an endearing habit of nuzzling me when I'm standing on the mounting block. She does occasionally have her bad days, like this past weekend when she was so upset about another horse leaving the arena that she went careening off in a wild bucking spree; it was the closest I've come in a year to being tossed off her back. But in a year we have worked on fundamental steering and collection; we've been on trail rides and to a horse show, and even on TV.

Despite the fact that buying her was a crazy, ill-advised decision, in one year I have never, ever regretted it.

horse & rider portrait

November 23, 2009

furlough, days 1-3

day one:

furlough, day 1-3: poop

sleeping in. cleaning stalls in the rain, raking the poo pile (above), letting the mare cavort around the indoor arena. chai latte at home, cat-shaped lap warmers, balancing the checkbook. TV in bed.

day two:

furlough, day 2: morning

coffee and oatmeal. working through a hissy fit from my horse; afterwards, watching her float over ground poles at the trot. working on our manners, our ground tying. an involved video game.

Nub feeds the king

a date.

day three:

Can I come out now?

discovering the cat has figured out how to jump on the kitchen counter. spraying the cat three times in rapid succession after he jumps on the kitchen counter. lining the kitchen counter with double-stick tape. and pots and pans from the cupboard. a solitary mid-morning ride. a bareback walk back to the barn. vacuuming the car. making the grocery list, the christmas list, the to-do list. fishing the cat toys from beneath the furniture. and again. and again.

great vacation so far. I've already forgotten what day of the week it is.