!

yesterday me and my bike set out in the early morning cold -- I could see my breath! -- and went on a bike adventure to salem. the cloudy weather they had predicted never materialized, which I was grateful for; those first 8 or 10 miles before the sun came up were cold, particularly without the benefit of bike gloves. but the sun came up and the temperature was perfect, and everything I needed was stuffed into the pockets of my jersey. I opted for the scenic route, ten miles longer than the more direct way, cutting west for awhile to travel along the willamette valley scenic bikeway: back roads littered with orchards and vineyards and two tractors tilling the earth, dirt clouds I rode through happily, glad to be able to smell the land. 66 miles from portland to salem, where I was greeted with beers and ice cream and a couple of happy dogs.

this is the last week of my summer. this week I've processed chickens at my friends' farm, I've skipped stones on the willamette, I've eaten candy, I've ridden my bike, I've cleaned stalls at the barn. I've read my book. I've hung out with my favorite person (twice). I've woken before dawn (twice). it's easy to spin everything as lovely, but in truth I've also been restive and bored and lonely, itchy and yearning in ways that I find difficult to articulate, even to myself. they are feelings that I suspect I should probably sit with, listen to, but I find myself avoiding them instead. one recent morning I lay in bed thinking, I wish I could travel more, I wish I could just up and go away for the weekend, I wish I led that kind of life, and then I got mad at myself, because if there's anything I've learned in the last year, it's that you're never stuck. you're only as stuck as you think you are.

although I let it pass without mentioning it to anyone, a year ago yesterday this happened. it took me months to pick up the pieces. I wasn't sure I wanted to acknowledge it at all, because JESUS, I've talked about it enough. I don't want to give the mistaken impression that I have any lingering regrets or pain or sadness. I don't. that ship sailed long ago, and good riddance. but this morning, I was standing in the sun-soaked barn, cleaning a stall, thinking of my one-year-ago self, and feeling a great deal of compassion for her. she thought she was stuck; she thought nothing would ever get better.

she came such a long way to get here. here, there might be transient boredom and worry, but there is also so much sunshine, adventure, playfulness, humor, resilience, courage, gratitude, love.

#19

19. do the fruit loop

hood river's fruit loop is 35 miles of roads that wind around orchards and wineries and fruit stands. I've been to hood river a few times -- to swim across the columbia and to hike -- but have never traveled through the loop. although most people DRIVE the fruit loop, I got the idea that it might be fun to bike. I couldn't find very much about biking the route,  with the exception of a forum posting a few years back that talked about a group ride there. it seemed totally doable, so a certain someone and I decided to do it this past weekend.

scott talks a lot about all the bike trips he's gone on, and has often suggested that we could do one together. secretly I have never believed I was up to the task, because I hadn't biked in so many years and because biking on the road has scared me for so long. cars! they are fast! shoulders are small, and my absolute most petrifying bike fear is of losing control of my bike and crashing into the road in front of a car. also, I still lack finesse when it comes to turning, and I've always been afraid of going at high speeds down hills. but recently I've been commuting pretty regularly in traffic, and we've even gone on a couple of bike dates where we've just meandered along from one place to another. on roads. without spending two hours scrupulously finding the safest bike route possible.

so: the fruit loop.



we followed this route from hood river, south to parkdale, then back north. we stopped at a couple of fruit stands along the way but didn't choose to detour to any of the ones off the main course. (although we did leave highway 35 for a couple of miles in order to bike on a less-trafficked road).


mt. adams through the orchards. we were there last summer!


a certain someone on his bike


mt hood looming close by


a paraglider! he/she was SO HIGH UP. presumably they'd ridden the air vents. insane. there were two of them; the other one was much lower.


making it look easy


fortunately you can't see the steady trickle of sweat on my face in this photo.

the ride was the hardest I've ever done -- a lot of climbing (for a novice), a lot of fast cars going by, a rough road. there was one hill -- the last, not long but on the steep side -- where I thought, "if I can't see the top soon, I'm gonna cry." but I made it! at several intervals on the climbs scott very kindly waited for me to catch up (and catch my breath) before we continued upwards.

he also tells me that the conditions were probably about as bad as it gets on a bike ride, so I guess I'm ready to go on bike rides now! look who's all grown up.

rehearsal notes, etc.

serious issues discussed in the production meeting for hansel & gretel
the relative size and color of cuckoo feathers versus partridge feathers
bubbling sinks
the logistics of getting crew members to physically hold up a set wall mid-show

things I've discovered my cats eating, chewing, or otherwise destroying in the past week
newspapers
my bike tires
my bike pedals
thumbtacks off the wall
the carpet
the fuzzy throw on my futon

ways I was a big girl on my 30-mile bike ride yesterday, because sometimes you have to celebrate small milestones
I rode on the street
WITH CARS
I remembered how to ride no-hands
I crossed several major streets without falling off my bike or getting run over
I rode on a really big street. with cars!
I lost my way 3 times, biked off onto 3 small adventures, and then resumed my journey

oh by the way
I forgot to tell you I bought a bike back in September.



Portland is simultaneously the nicest place to bike -- because it's so bike-friendly -- and the scariest, because everybody and their grandma is a cyclist and I haven't been on a bike in 5 years. Of course there's that stupid tired old cliche about how you never forget, and while that's true in the vague sense, you sure do forget how to turn properly, steer, or angle your pelvis so your butt doesn't turn to hamburger. Fortunately I remembered how to do these things now, mostly.

excerpts from the rehearsal notes from hansel & gretel
"could the jello be taller?"

"thanks for the beads today -- they saved rehearsal. thankfully, no one tried to eat them."

"Super Maggie is the cake car driver."

"The cake car makes horrible squealing sounds when rolling around."

"Could we try 2 nasal aspirators full of glitter?"

"Please ADD a child's head in a plastic bag for the Act 3 refrigerator dressing."

"One of the kids is dropped to the ground by the Witch. This explains some of the previously existing dents."

"Please give the lard some weight."

"The hand with the removable finger has broken."

maybe the best rehearsal note ever, from our 2005 Tosca:
"The main curtain was blowing upstage, hitting the writing desk at the end of act II, the desk in act III, and causing the dead Cavaradossi to come alive to pull his arm upstage before the final curtain hit."

what stress can do for you
last Thursday (day 29) I ran a 6:46 mile. (no. 16). I wasn't even trying.