It wasn’t that they were so
they were more
I could rub them
the way you touch a cat
that rubs against your ankles
even if he isn’t yours.
So yes I feel lonely without them.
Now that I know the truth,
that I only dreamed someone liked me,
the cat has curled up in a bed of leaves
against the house and I still have to do
everything I had to do before
without a secret hum
-- naomi shihab nye
bravely forward, I said. I meant it, though the sentiment comes in flashes of motivation. in between, there are long slow blank spaces. I crawl between moments of conviction. the rain pours.