April 18, 2010

going bald

St. Baldrick’s Foundation

I'm officially two weeks away from conquering the terrifying number 24. on may 2, I'm headed to oaks park to have my head shaved by st. baldrick's, a charity whose participants go bald to raise money for children's cancer research.

I'm simultaneously excited and terrified. I've wanted to shave my head for more than ten years but I've never had the courage or the excuse. a few years ago my former college roommate shaved her head with st. baldricks and I was so. jealous.

cutting my hair short, which I did in october 2008, has been an interesting, though unintentional, exploration into my own feelings of femininity; as much as I wish it weren't so, by default I feel less feminine with short hair and therefore have to "act" my femininity harder than I ever did with long hair. with short hair I have been more likely to wear makeup, more likely to don dangly earrings; I think I might even dress differently now. it turns out that long hair equals feminine by default, which is something I never considered until it was gone. I don't mean to imply that I'm sorry that hair is gone -- I'm not. I do, however, occasionally lament the feeling that I'm slightly farther under the radar with short hair.

I can only imagine that being bald is going to throw me even further away from most ordinary notions of girlishness. I'm already mentally preparing myself for the potential looming desire to wear makeup EVERY day (these days it's only when I feel like it) since, after all, what little hair I now have left to hide behind will be gone. I'm also beginning to believe that it's likely I will stop wearing my glasses for awhile, although I've long felt as though they're one of my fundamental defining characteristics. I haven't found too many photos of bald women with glasses that appeal to me; without hair, they just seem too present.

in other words, let's turn everything on its ear, mkay?

but don't let all this pontification fool you. I'm really psyched to buzz off my hair. just imagine: weeks and weeks of not having to worry about my hair at all. short hair makes short work of hair styling, but baldness will get rid of the concern altogether. roll out of bed and go.

I'm also really looking forward to the st. baldrick's event, where several of the honored children will be in attendance and may even help cut our hair off. (I hope so!). a good friend of mine is also participating, and several of my friends will be in attendance to watch. I had hoped to raise $500 by event day, thinking the sum to be a little high for only two weeks' worth of fundraising, but my friends and coworkers have TOTALLY OUTDONE THEMSELVES and have already bumped me past that line. I LOVE YOU GUYS. Now I'm shooting for $750, which is the "VIP" sum that gets me my choice of shave times :)

If you are interested in helping support st. baldricks -- or you'd just seriously pay money to see me shave my head -- you can donate to my campaign at my participant page.

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