December 17, 2010

day 93

I am officially one week from streak completion. HOOOO BOY thank god

things on my body that hurt:
everything

no, really, everything.

OK, OK:
bottoms of my feet, particularly my left arch, which has a giant knot in it
left calf (giant knot)
left IT band (always troublesome)
left knee, occasionally, in that random runners-knee-inflammation kind of way
quads (giant knots)
left hip. like, every single muscle in my left hip, no joke.
my left psoas, which I separate from my hip because it's the #1 screaming pain on my body, extends into my back, and is the bane of my existence
my lower back
my mid back
my upper back, but that's probably from knitting

so, essentially everything from the ribcage down on my left side is worked. I feel like a walking anatomy book now, having looked up the names of all my ouchie parts and having committed them to memory so that I can now, for example, walk into my massage therapist and say, "ouch, my sartorius." (true: my massage therapist, hilariously, asked me if I was a doctor when I told him my trouble was my psoas. "how do you know what it's called?" he asked. "are you a doctor?" and my honest answer was, "no, I'm a runner.")

I have pretty much settled it in my brain that the streak is over after I've hit my goal. it's not an easy thing to accept, even though the past two weeks have daily found me lamenting the day's run. I have this mentality now that the streak is Everything. in fact, just last night, as I was running on the river, I thought to myself, "boy, I'm really going to miss this." "this" was running! I had the thought and then the ridiculousness of it registered and I reminded myself that actually, um, I'm going to be training for a marathon in the spring. I'm going to be running more than ever.

but there was some truth to the feeling of loss. I accept that during the streak I've developed a much different relationship to running than I've ever had before. likewise, I accept -- and this is why it's hard -- that once the streak is over, my disciplined daily-running mentality will change. training for a marathon is hard -- I'll run a higher mileage in the first week of training than I've run in any of my streak weeks -- but it's also very different. there's not the same compelling sense of "I have to" that accompanies the streak. of course, if I want to hit my secret goal, I do have to -- it's just a different sort of discipline.

then again, during the streak I've often felt as though I've lost running. I have not run truly without pain in over a month, and even then, I think I was experiencing some easy-to-ignore, low-level pain. I haven't run in a certain someone's weekly sunday run because the mileage -- a moderate 8-9 miles -- is too much for me to manage without tweaking one of my many problem areas. (though he has very sweetly accompanied me on several of my single-mile maintenance runs, particularly in the last few weeks when my motivation has been low, and I have appreciated the help). I don't get to run as far as I'd sometimes like; likewise I don't get to run as fast as I'd sometimes like.

marathon training means deriving your motivation from the future. the streak means having propulsion from the past. in the end, it turns out that having run 93 days in a row makes it a whole lot easier to run the 94th. and I will miss that.

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