February 17, 2009

to rend your ventricles apart

couperin, handel, rameau, c.p.e. bach. although I am happy to have my full-time job back, I will miss freelancing, which has made me feel sought after and capable. I never thought I was the kind of person who could work four jobs, and it's been a remarkable confidence boost to discover that I have the stamina. this week I am in rehearsal with PBO; I sit in the performance space with one ear on the rehearsal while I work on the supertitle score for the opera and bowings for the symphony. although it's exhausting, it's also a thrill. the satisfaction of making a living being surrounded by this music never wears thin. I will be glad to have a steady paycheck again, but it breaks my heart a little to know that I will have to give up this crazy life.

this past weekend my old high school friend mike came for a visit. we played skeeball at east burn (just one game, but still: crossing off number 20 on the list), drove around the gorge, visited my horse, and hung out with my friends after closing night at the opera. we drank beers and caught up. it was amazing. beforehand, my friends asked, 'isn't it going to be weird? you haven't seen each other in ages." but I knew we would be OK.


and there is nothing like a new set of eyes viewing your life to make you take stock and appreciate all that you have: your wonderful friends, the great town you live in, the fact that you do what you love for a living. I say it constantly because I was in my darkest place not so long ago, so in my heart it bears repeating: I am so lucky. I am the luckiest person on earth.

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