cold stone of worry in my stomach; hurried frantic morning; striding down the sidewalk, in the middle of downtown, in mud-covered boots. quiet but for the sound of fifteen horses chewing and drinking; a big orange wheelbarrow; one horse's muzzle in my hair. deep wet squelching sand; sweat; warm bareback ride, legs dangling, with a lead rope for reins and a halter for a bridle. pitchfork; steam; sun. dentist: two chinese ladies laughing; spray from the nozzle; the smell of burnt tooth and dental drill. at home: tomato soup; yesterday's toffee; an old movie from childhood. a christmas tree, still lit, in the living room. awake past a certain someone's bedtime.